Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Porn actor on set on a farm retreating into his imagination, singing inhis mind, making music in his head, playing a fence post like a piano

The idea for this painting originated with a podcast I heard about bestiality. I had the idea for this picture a while ago and talked to my girl about it. She said that when I make something I should tell the whole story about it. I said this one is weird. 
It's not weird, she said. You used the energy of the idea to paint it. Use it also for the writing. You told me there's a naked man on a farm playing a piano. 
You gave me the base of the story, which is beautiful. If there is something behind it, you should write the whole story. Don't be afraid to write about anything.

In the picture, the man is escaping into an imaginary world to avoid the unpleasant memories of the incident. I think how in bad situations people escape into their own heads. I was at my last job for a long time trying not to get soul crushed, drawing, writing, painting, gluing shapes together, doing whatever was necessary to feel like I was pursuing something, an inner voice of some kind, using the time in a positive way. I was definitely escaping mentally for a good portion of the day, trying to use the frustration to focus me on making things. I could have left the job but I couldn't somehow. I was stuck. Hated it, knew it wasn't right for me, but couldn't leave. 

It's crazy because I've always been able to take big, bold steps to change situations knowing things would work out and that fear for the most part creates pitfalls where there are none. (Side note: there were moments at the job though when you saw something nice. People were plugged in for the most part all day, ear buds in, mice in hand clicking away, eyes devoted to their screens. However, when it rained, people gathered at the window.  There were human moments when u saw people naked, not as themselves, but as human beings drawn inherently to nature.) So yeah.

If that's what it's about, that's what it's about. I'm trying to break through limitations and fears. All the creatures and characters around on the farm are mostly like from cartoons or imaginary. It's not that they're there on set. They're there in his mind. For some reason Homer Simpson comes up a lot in many of my pictures. I don't know why, but I used to draw the Simpsons a lot in my notebook in school. Bart though mostly.